I had a pretty good day at work yesterday. I was busy with customers and getting my office back in order after being out for three weeks. Then I had some other stuff to do to keep myself occupied. Once I got home, it seemed to really hit me again. Today was so-so. We went to the cemetery. The ground was really wet and muddy, so we didn't stay long. I meant to bring a blanket or towel so we could just sit. Last week when we went, it was wet too, but not so muddy so we just sat and had wet pants. It is so peaceful at Sydney's spot. I'm really glad we chose that cemetery.
While we were at the cemetery, Eric said, "I never thought this would happen to us." Our first two pregnancies were high risk, especially the second. We had several scares, including a hospital admission at 23 weeks for super high blood pressure (I developed PIH at about 14 weeks) and Hailey was born at 33 weeks after an emergency induction when my kidneys and liver were failing (I had severe atypical pre-eclampsia and possibly HELLP Syndrome). I also had pre-eclampsia with Christian, but it wasn't too bad and he was induced at 36 weeks after a non-reactive NST and slowing movements. We knew this pregnancy was high risk going in, but up until February 8th, I felt great. It was my best pregnancy yet. I was so confident that I would actually make it to term. I was so much healthier this time around. I never imagined we would end up like this.
It's just so confusing and completely unfair. :(
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