Friday, September 11, 2009

My psychic experience

I've been meaning to write about this for a while and got sidetracked. Ever since Sydney died, I've felt a strong urge to see a psychic. I put it out my mind for a while, but about a month ago, it started nagging me again. I searched online and came back to someone who stuck out to me when I first thought about it.

It was a very interesting experience. As we started, she only knew my name. Right away, she told me very true and accurate things. She told me that I'd had a recent loss of a significant female, then she told me that she saw a little girl around me. We discussed my children and Sydney came up. We talked about her and she told me that Sydney has dark curly hair and she's with an older female who crossed over already. Ever since Sydney died, I've believed that she is with my grandma. I know that my grandma would adore her and take care of her until I get there.

Those things alone probably wouldn't convince me of anything. But combined with all of the other things she said about my personality, my current personal and professional situations, and my kids, I believe it. I got a tape recording of the session and played it for Eric. He was a total skeptic, but once he heard it, he was really amazed too.

Things have been pretty calm for the last week or two. Once again, we failed to conceive this month. It's very frustrating. I'm still trying to decide if we're going to try this month. If I were to get pregnant, I would be due about a week or so before I was due with Sydney this year. I don't know if I can emotionally handle going through those same stages close to the same time that I did with her. But I also want to be pregnant again so badly, the sooner the better.

It seems like every time I turn around, I'm hearing a story about another baby or child dying. I'm so sick of it. Every time I hear about another mother losing her child, I feel like I lose my faith a little more. This world makes no sense to me anymore.


Anonymous said...

I have thought so many times about going to a psychic...but I'm honestly afraid of what s/he would tell me. I'm too afraid to hear that something even worse might happen to me.
This world really doesn't make sense to me anymore, either.

angie said...

That sounds like an amazing experience, Jaime. I went to a psychic too, after months of having that urge. She told me some very healing things. I am just sorry about not conceiving this month, and losing faith. I know exactly what you mean. It is hard to keep hearing about more grief.

Isla's Mommy said...

hmmm...I've been thinking about going to a psychic lately too. I used to believe, and since Isla's death I have become a bit more skeptical. But one thing has been nagging at me.

My mom went to a psychic about a year-and-a-half ago, before my wedding and before baby making was on my brain. The psychic told my mom that I would have some trouble having children, and she wanted my mom to relay the message to me that I should not lose hope or get discouraged because I was eventually going to have twins! YAY!

At first I thought the "trouble" would be getting pregnant, but nope, the first month we stopped trying to prevent it, boom, BFP. So, when I had my miscarriage, I thought, okay, here it is, the "trouble". And when we conceived Isla just one month later and I made it through the first trimester (and naively thought I was out of the woods), I was actually suprised to find out during my first ultrasound that I was not carrying twins (my HCG levels were very high making me think it was a possibility). As my pregnancy progressed I thought the psychic was so full of it, because I was obviously not having twins, just one perfect little baby girl.

However, after Isla died I started thinking a lot more about what this psychic had said to my mom, and I asked my mom about it in more detail. Apparently, the psychic was very teary and visibily upset when she told my mom about my pregnancy "troubles", which makes me think she saw Isla's death.

So now I am really contemplating visiting this woman. I like the idea of these twins - one boy, one girl - and I'd like to hear more about it. But, I am also a little afraid to put too much stock into the things she "sees", because she also said my wedding day would be beautiful and sunny, and it rained so much that if I didn't know better, I would reckon a monsoon came through southern Ontario that day!

I'm glad the psychic was able to tell you Sydney is safe with your grandmother. I do believe that.


Jayme said...

I debated taking the month off so that my due date would not be in August (Raime was the 6th and Connor the 1st) because I didn't want to have another parallel pregnancy. However, with the fact Aaron is military, I didn't want to wait because I knew he'd be deploying again and I wanted him home for as long as possible after the birth. I of course got pregnant, and my due date was Aug 1st, just like Connor's. I am so glad we didn't wait, because Aaron is leaving in a couple weeks, so he's been able to be here for my whole pregnancy and the boys first three months :)
Good luck deciding!!!

Bree said...

I have wanted to go to a psychic since my dad died. Boy- you and I are having such similar experiences. If I conceive this month, we'd be due right around Ella's due date too. At first, I didn't want to be on the same schedule, but now I don't care. I just want another baby growing inside of me. Did you receive Sydney's butterfly?

Jaime said...

Yes, Bree, I got the butterfly! It was wonderful. I'm going to hang it up with her wings from Lea. :) Thank you again!

Mary said...

I recently went to lunch with a friend whose husband had read my palm years ago. It was during the first couple of years that I had dated E.

He told me then a few things that came true. He me that I would have three children. I think about that alot. I want to ask him what did he mean by "have".

She told me to talk to him again. That things in my life had changed which have changed that prediction. I'm scared as well. I don't know if I really want to know.