I seem to go through phases with my grief. Some days, I'm ok. Well, as ok as I can be, functional, not crying constantly. Then something sets me off and it's downhill until I have a breakdown, have a bunch of bad days, then I work my way back to ok. I feel it there, so close, and I'm scared. What if this time it starts and doesn't stop? As much as I wish the world could stop, it can't. I have other kids to care for, a job, bills to pay, all of these responsibilities that I can't avoid.
Here are some pictures from today. A nice woman who was visiting her husband's grave offered to take a picture of the four of us. It's as close to a family picture as we can get. :(
3 comments:
Oh what a heartbreaking family portrait. Much love to you on this journey, mama. I know it comes in waves, and we just having to keep riding them...
I love the little angel on the grave. It's perfect just like Sydney.
((((hugs)))) Jaime. Your family portrait is wonderful, in that I see the grief and love in the eyes of you, DH, and your children. I couldn't help but notice that it took another bereaved to understand that a picture of the family together--with the name of your precious Sydney--was important. I know the pain of visiting my child's name in stone. I'll be thinking of you and sending love and hopes for peace as you navigate this life.
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