100 days

As of today, it has been 100 days since Sydney became an angel. These have been the longest 100 days of my life. I really don't even have anything to say that I haven't said a million times already. :(

The monument company called on Tuesday. They delivered Sydney's marker on Monday and the cemetery will have it installed by the weekend. We're planning to go there tomorrow evening when I get off work to look at it and take pictures. I have new flowers and decorations to take out too. I need to go pick up some flowers I saw that I liked. I've been buying artificial flowers because I can't get out there more than once a week, sometimes not even that often depending on the weather, and I hate thinking about dead flowers sitting there until I get back with new ones. I have an issue with dead flowers. I didn't want flowers sent to her service, I hated looking at the flowers that were sent to our house. They were pretty for a few days, then they died. It was really depressing for me.

Speaking of depressing. My mother in law and sister in law are involved in an animal rescue. They have a bunch of cats and kittens (one of whom we just adopted). A couple of weeks ago, a sick mama cat gave birth to her litter and all of the kittens got sick. We went to my in-law's on Sunday evening and they were trying to keep three of the kittens alive. Two had already died the night before. I ended up holding two tiny kittens who were barely hanging on, praying that they didn't die in my arms. They ended up dying the next day. I feel so sad for that mama cat. Do animals mourn like we do? Not too long ago, Inanna posted a link to this video, which showed a mama gorilla whose baby died. She carried his little body around for a week and openly grieved for her baby. I wish that no mother, human or animal, ever had to lose their child and deal with this grief. :(